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And because I paid for it, I'm not afraid to ask. Most of them said there's something very hot in being able to ask for what you want in bed and get it, no questions asked.

Although one guy did admit he paid a prostitute once so that SHE could be in charge. But generally, they all admitted to being more open about what they wanted and more physically satisfied when they paid for sex.

Emotionally, of course, remains to be seen. When I pay a hooker, I'm not worried about what I ask for. Nothing shocks them. One man said that he'd never had better oral sex in his life than with a prostitute.

Couldn't be easier. All the guys I spoke to had used different methods of visiting prostitutes. Two used websites, another visited a brothel, and another took a prostitute's number from a London phone box.

But they all agreed: it was the quickest way to get sex when they felt the urge. When you pay for sex, you don't have to swap numbers at the end when you know you won't call.

You pay, have sex, she leaves. Everyone's happy. Several of the men had previously had one-night stands with girls who wouldn't leave them alone after the fact.

They said that taking home a girl and sleeping with her seems like a great idea As embarrassed as they were to admit it, many of them said the sure-fire way to have no-strings-attached sex is to pay for it.

Not once on the phone did she herself mention anything about sex or money, which I figured was a pretty professional way to handle things. You never know if I'm a completely moronic police officer, after all.

I tried my best to clarify what it would cost me, but she insisted that everything I needed to know was online, and if I was serious, I'd know what to do.

Basically this meant me doing math. This was the first moment that doubt and trepidation set in. She put a value on sex, but now I had to put a value on funny.

We settled on a time and a place and ended our conversation. I had just solicited a prostitute. My family would be proud, if they weren't worse people than me already.

Although Pretty Woman , a movie I didn't enjoy starring an actress I don't like that I haven't seen in a solid decade, was seriously my only reference point for how to behave and what to do, I didn't think a formal, tuxedo affair was the way to go with this, and not just because I don't own a tuxedo.

I would have to wing things from here. Jasmine was going to meet me at a restaurant downtown at p. I felt that was a good time for a late dinner that made me seem like an adult, plus, for the next few hours we spent together, it would stretch into what I figure is a sexy time of night.

As you may have noticed, I'm a complete idiot. I don't date a lot. The restaurant was fancy in that way that there are no crayons on the table and no one wears pieces of flair.

I showered twice before leaving my house, proving to myself that I have a weird kind of OCD about strangers and sex, and headed out. Arriving 35 minutes early, I proceeded to drink at the bar until Jasmine finally arrived.

As a man with some ability to make people laugh, in my day-to-day machinations I've dabbled in flirting with attractive women before; I've even had success.

I don't want to brag, but I have touched a boob before, and it was just swell. So I'm no rookie at this sort of thing. That said, Jasmine was like sex that something had arranged in the shape of a person and held together with a shimmery black dress and lipstick.

If sensuality smelled like bacon, this girl would have been Jewish kryptonite. I was a little stunned. Also a little drunk.

She said hello and gave me a kiss on the cheek as she took a seat next to me at the bar. Because I'm sly and shit, I literally leaned back a few inches to look at her ass.

It really was sweet. We made chitchat briefly as I tried to think of a cool way to bring up giving her a wad of cash I had in an envelope because she was a prostitute and I was a john.

Luckily she was on top of that like stink on a monkey and had her tiny purse on the bar before I figured out what I wanted to say and suggested I just slide my donation inside.

I guess we work on the honor system. That's nice. Jasmine had a very shrewd way of deflecting pretty much any question I asked her and turning it into a question about me instead.

Over the course of dinner I learned that she loves what she does, she has been doing it a couple of years, and she would not show me her booty clapping skills in a restaurant, but something else could be arranged.

Other than that, I didn't get very deep into her, so to speak. Although she did admit to liking the movie Dude, Where's My Car? I once called Steve Jobs the da Vinci of our generation.

Please don't support anything I do. I finished my steak and garlic mashed potatoes while she ate a vegetarian stir fry and we discussed our plans for the rest of the evening.

The only idea I had readily available that might kill two birds with one stone was dancing. Because I dance like a palsied child in the final throes of succumbing to a new disease on the frontier, I hadn't really wanted to do this, but of course I had few other ideas that didn't involve mini golf or going to a clinic the next morning, so dancing it was.

Besides, I was about six drinks into the evening at this point and at the cusp of dancing by myself anyway. So I went clubbing with a prostitute.

If you've never spent an inebriated evening cutting a rug with a lady of the night, all I can say is that it does amazing things for your self-confidence.

Jasmine had me convinced I was like the bastard child of Michael Jackson and Justin Timberlake, only possibly with a mightier dong and highly appealing earlobes, which she had a habit of biting while we danced.

I knew this was all for show, but it was a show I had paid for, and a show I was putting on for a crowded room of sweaty strangers as well.

And you know what? I liked it. I felt good about myself. It was all fake, and I didn't care. I had no sex with Jasmine that evening.

When we parted ways, she kissed me on the lips and may have left her tongue somewhere in my chest cavity, after which I coolly said "awesome.

That's not really my business anyway. I learned that she was paying for a Ph. She'd actually been spying on me at the restaurant for a while before we met.

She told me she sees no more than two guys a day, four days a week, and I was more fun than most of them. Also she took me into the women's washroom at the club and made her ass clap for me.

It was fucking amazing. I will probably never pay an escort to go dancing with me again, but only because it's kind of a costly way to spend an evening.

It was fun, and Jasmine was a lot more fun to hang out with than I had assumed ahead of time. And why did I assume it would be different?

Hard to say -- it probably had something to do with whatever assumptions most people make about women who charge money for sex. What did I learn?

The only difference between an escort and, say, your sister is probably that an escort charges money.

They're both regular people, though. And also that ass clapping is awesome. Don't make me do this again. Don't have an account?

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